2020 in review (kinda)

What to say about 2020? The year is testament to the saying that no matter how bad things get, they can always – always – get worse. The only good news we’ve had all year was Trump’s electoral defeat (the exception which proves the rule, if you ask me). But what few people know – […]

Excuse me, but I have a question.

Dearest F, I don’t mean to upset you. I certainly have no intention of making you uncomfortable in any way. However, there’s one thing I need to ask you before the world ends: how would you feel about kissing me again? Soon. Maybe next month, maybe next week, maybe tomorrow. I know that you’re scared. […]

My writing soul

I’ve always written. And I’ve always loved writing. I tell people that I fell in love with writing when I was eight and one of my stories made my teacher cry, but that’s not really true. Even before I learned how to write, I would write stories in my head. It’s in my DNA, as […]

Death

In my native language, Death is a woman. We imagine that a female body hides behind the Grim Reaper’s thick rope. And let’s face it, that little get-up has always looked like a dress to me. In my mind, Death is a pruny old spinster at a family party. And you’re afraid to glance her […]

Friends will be F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I have friends. Real flesh and blood friends of the non-imaginary variety. Friends with whom I get together every Saturday night (through Zoom, of course) to talk about work and the apocalypse and the overwhelming pressure of time. Friends with whom I began sharing some of my writing. They’re very supportive and think I should […]

On having children – or not.

In English, the gender neutral word for sons and daughters is children. I love that. No matter how old the offspring is, they will always be their parents’ children. There’s a kind of poetic truth in that, I think. Because to my parents, my 38-year-old brother and I will always be children, even as my […]

Quarantine update

“Tell me something good. I need to hear something good.” That was the message I left F some weeks ago. Because I needed – and still do – some good news in my life. I need something to go my way. Soon. I texted him as I was watching my grandma have the tea I’d […]

A quarantine dream

In my dream you’re lying on the couch, your hair brushing my thigh as you sleepily browse through instagram pictures of friends I will never know except from the stories you tell me. And your feet are dangling off the couch arm as there’s clearly not enough room for you, but you twist and turn, […]

A condescending inspirational message to my young students

Yesterday my grandma turned 93. My father’s mother, who helped raise me and who is responsible for the parts of me I’m most proud of, is now 93 years old. I couldn’t hug her, as she’s off in the countryside with my dad in quarantine. We did Skype, though, and I saw this brittle woman, […]

All quiet on the western front

I can’t stop thinking about F. I haven’t contacted him ever since my birthday, but it’s a constant struggle. Every second of every day I feel this impulse, this force that is trying to escape my every cell through my fingertips straight into a text message. I’ve been strong so far, but god knows how […]