Excuse me, but I have a question.

Dearest F, I don’t mean to upset you. I certainly have no intention of making you uncomfortable in any way. However, there’s one thing I need to ask you before the world ends: how would you feel about kissing me again? Soon. Maybe next month, maybe next week, maybe tomorrow. I know that you’re scared. […]

My writing soul

I’ve always written. And I’ve always loved writing. I tell people that I fell in love with writing when I was eight and one of my stories made my teacher cry, but that’s not really true. Even before I learned how to write, I would write stories in my head. It’s in my DNA, as […]

Friends will be F.R.I.E.N.D.S.

I have friends. Real flesh and blood friends of the non-imaginary variety. Friends with whom I get together every Saturday night (through Zoom, of course) to talk about work and the apocalypse and the overwhelming pressure of time. Friends with whom I began sharing some of my writing. They’re very supportive and think I should […]

Quarantine update

“Tell me something good. I need to hear something good.” That was the message I left F some weeks ago. Because I needed – and still do – some good news in my life. I need something to go my way. Soon. I texted him as I was watching my grandma have the tea I’d […]

A quarantine dream

In my dream you’re lying on the couch, your hair brushing my thigh as you sleepily browse through instagram pictures of friends I will never know except from the stories you tell me. And your feet are dangling off the couch arm as there’s clearly not enough room for you, but you twist and turn, […]

Thinking about thinking

Thinking too much. This morning F told me that quarantine has been forcing him into thinking too much. About who he is and his life and stuff. I just thought: that’s just a regular day for me. I’ve always thought too much. In fact, my brain is wired in such a way that I can […]

Fiction Heaven (new and hopefully improved)

This is what I think: perhaps there is no Heaven nor Hell. Perhaps when we die, we go to Fiction. Let’s face it: the concept of Heaven sounds much more appealing in theory than it would ever be in reality. It’s like you’ve made this huge effort to be admitted into this exclusive club, only […]

All quiet on the western front

I can’t stop thinking about F. I haven’t contacted him ever since my birthday, but it’s a constant struggle. Every second of every day I feel this impulse, this force that is trying to escape my every cell through my fingertips straight into a text message. I’ve been strong so far, but god knows how […]

The cemetery of lost love

Where does love go when it dies? To the cemetery of lost love, of course. To that corner of ourselves where we bury ex boyfriends who broke our hearts, potential soulmates who never really saw such potential, friends who really loved us but just as friends. I am there right now, digging – tooth and […]

Crossing a line

And we kissed. And it was wonderful. And it was like melting into one and all of those romance novel cliches. And I was drunk. Very drunk. I remember his hesitant hand on my breast. I remember feeling that there was nowhere else in the world I’d rather be, nothing else I’d rather be doing. […]